Confessions of a Chocoholic

OK So I know I said I wouldn't let this pregnancy be an excuse to eat whatever I want and skip my workouts like the last two but . . .

That first trimester I was SO SICK.  I mean, I was throwing up everything I ate anyway so why not eat whatever I want.  Besides, I was losing weight those first three months.

The second trimester I was feeling good and I probably should have eaten better and exercised, but we had so many visitors.  And when people are on vacation, they eat like they are on vacation. OK, so I wasn't on vacation but they were staying at my house!  What am I gonna do? Just refuse to eat their chocolate covered macadamia nuts?  Besides, you shouldn't ignore your cravings. The baby has needs.

Well by the third trimester, the damage had already been done.  I mean, I spend the majority of my life watching what I eat so that I can try to squeeze into a swimsuit or a dress and I'm obviously not squeezing into anything at this point so why not bake lemon bars? Every week. And eat the whole pan. By myself.

And then I know I said once the baby was born I would start eating clean and healthy. But I haven't been able to eat raw cookie dough for nine months.  That's a lot of raw cookie dough to make up for!  And I have sweet friends.  Like the one who brought me a big container of Costco chocolate covered almonds because she knows they're my favorite.  They are my favorite!  How can I be expected to walk through the kitchen without grabbing a handful or two?

And I'm breast-feeding my baby.  Like around the clock.  She was back to her birthweight plus some by 4 days old. Surely I'm entitled to a few extra calories.  I mean it is a known fact that pregnant women need an extra 300 calories a day and nursing women need an extra 500!  That's gotta cover the pack of graham crackers and whole milk I've been choosing for late night sustenance.

my chunky monkey

Plus I'm emotional.  Or hormonal.  Is that the same thing?  All I know is I cry a lot more than usual.  And when I cry I reach for chocolate because it makes me happy. It really does! Like yesterday when the ten-year-old neighbor boy said to me, "How come you still have a round belly even though the baby is out?"  I could feel the tears springing to my eyes so naturally I made a beeline for my stash of king sized Hershey with Almond bars.

What am I doing with a stash of king sized candy bars? They were on sale for a dollar each!  So I stocked up. For emergency purposes.  Come to think of it there seem to have been quite a few emergencies around my house lately because I'm almost out.  I hope they're still on sale.

I should note that the doctor gave me the "go ahead" to start working out again.  I asked her twice if she was sure and she said yes. I have ambitious plans that include boxing, Crossfit, Insanity, running and hot yoga but I figure I need to gradually ease back into things so for now I've been going for walks. Keep in mind I've got a ten pound baby in a carrier and I'm pushing a 25 lb toddler in the stroller plus I live in Hawaii, so it's HOT!  By the time I get a few blocks down the road I am sweating like a pig! So obviously that is when I turn around and head back home.

Today I brought a pack of Oreos  (just to keep Cohen happy on that long walk, of course) but he only likes the cream filling.  So I offered to eat the outsides for him.  Besides, it's a teaching opportunity. "Waste not, want not." Or something like that.

Speaking of Oreos, I had to get out of the hot house last night so I took the kids for a ride on the golf cart. This time I brought two packs of Oreos, one each for Cohen and Marley.  Marley's friend wanted to come with us so I told her to share her Oreos with him. He graciously declined and then stopped into his house so his mom could give him a snack for the ride. He came back out with dry popcorn and celery sticks. I think the only time my kids have seen celery sticks before is on an episode of Wonder Pets.

Teamwork!

It's now Saturday. (Since I started writing this, two days have passed, the stash of king size candy bars is depleted and I've made cookie dough with no intention of baking it.) On the agenda for today: Marley's soccer game, a birthday party and hanging out at the beach.  I think I'll let Conway handle the soccer game and the beach. (The sun will be too much for my baby's skin). But Lennon and I will make an appearance at the birthday party. After all, there will be cake!